I have tests scheduled for Friday the 3rd, so this Friday. I will be getting an MRI at 6:30 am and then a nerve conductor test and EKG at 8:30am. I'm not worried so much about the MRI, I'm generally over the claustrophobic and it's needed. I am worried about the nerve conductor test however. If you don't know, this consists of them jabbing a needle into your muscle (probably my leg)and having me move about so the doctor can gage the reaction of the muscles. This wouldn't be so bad because they numb the area the needle goes in if it wasn't for the fact that I hate needles. I won't be alone though. Matt is going to stay as long as he can then go to work and my friend and roommate Shawn will be with me.
I do think that if the doctors had done these tests when they were first scheduled and suggested in the beginning of April, I wouldn't be so bad off because we might have a clue as to what the hell is going on. But it's to much for the doctors to do there jobs when it comes to us crazy people because thats all we are, crazy. Thusly nothing physically can be wrong.
So I have had to endure intense pain, crippling soreness afterwards, having to use a cane and wheelchair, because "I don't have enough information so go home with this upped dose of meds and do more activity." -Dr. (not saying names here) OSU general doctor. Two months later, OK, now that things are far more worse then before, lets get our butts in gear so you can't sue us for negligence.
I hate doctors.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
This HAS been a while.
To first update, I am no longer as crazy as I once was. I think this is because I have grown up. I'm 22 now. If I had an problems, they would be unbearable now without medication. I have indeed not taken medication for appro 9 months and I'm doing fine. Mentally at least. My diagnosis got down graded from schizo-affective to Borderline personality. This fits better then schizo, but still not well. I am also in the process of getting rid of the major depression and anxiety diagnosis. I feel they no longer apply. I do not deal with depression often and when I do it's mild and manageable nor do I deal with anxiety.
Currently I am a full time at Columbus State with two weeks left for this quarter and a break for the summer coming up. It will be nice. Last quarter did go well but this one is doing much better regardless of my physical worsening.
Also while I contend with doing well in school and manage my brain form exploding, my body has decided to rebel. My right side is failing. I go through a lot of pain somewhat regularly and then paralysis randomly. But only on the right. I am confined to a wheelchair for a month unless thing get worse and I need it longer. Sadly the doctors do not know whats wrong, nor have we made progress in trying to find out. I have an MRI scheduled soon but no one has told me when. I just know it'll be sooner then I see the doctor next month. It sucks being a cripple beyond my knee having a bad week. That I could handle. This sucks a lot more.
In other news, after two years of not dating Matt after my first trip to the hospital, we started dating again at the end of January this year. I have now moved in because with three other people around and no stairs, when I fall I usually have someone around to help me. I have to carry a whistle on me. Plus everyone is very willing to help and understanding. We actually feel like a family here most of the time. Of course I am playing the Mum role. "Clean your dishes!" I enjoy it though. Makes me feel useful and I think everyone here knows that.
This cane sucks. I think I'm not using it right because it kills my shoulder. Luckily I have a wrist brace from NERO so i don't have that problem. Occasionally I can get away with using just the cane if the wheelchair is to much. I have to use it sparingly anymore though. But the wheelchair makes me use my right more then I can tolerate. Carpet and slanting sidewalks, like my home and my entire school grounds, suck.
So to wrap up, doing well enough mentally, not so much physically, still doing larps but only handicap accessible ones, dating Matt, new home that looks like I'll be here a while at least, no news from docs.
Ta-ta for now.
Currently I am a full time at Columbus State with two weeks left for this quarter and a break for the summer coming up. It will be nice. Last quarter did go well but this one is doing much better regardless of my physical worsening.
Also while I contend with doing well in school and manage my brain form exploding, my body has decided to rebel. My right side is failing. I go through a lot of pain somewhat regularly and then paralysis randomly. But only on the right. I am confined to a wheelchair for a month unless thing get worse and I need it longer. Sadly the doctors do not know whats wrong, nor have we made progress in trying to find out. I have an MRI scheduled soon but no one has told me when. I just know it'll be sooner then I see the doctor next month. It sucks being a cripple beyond my knee having a bad week. That I could handle. This sucks a lot more.
In other news, after two years of not dating Matt after my first trip to the hospital, we started dating again at the end of January this year. I have now moved in because with three other people around and no stairs, when I fall I usually have someone around to help me. I have to carry a whistle on me. Plus everyone is very willing to help and understanding. We actually feel like a family here most of the time. Of course I am playing the Mum role. "Clean your dishes!" I enjoy it though. Makes me feel useful and I think everyone here knows that.
This cane sucks. I think I'm not using it right because it kills my shoulder. Luckily I have a wrist brace from NERO so i don't have that problem. Occasionally I can get away with using just the cane if the wheelchair is to much. I have to use it sparingly anymore though. But the wheelchair makes me use my right more then I can tolerate. Carpet and slanting sidewalks, like my home and my entire school grounds, suck.
So to wrap up, doing well enough mentally, not so much physically, still doing larps but only handicap accessible ones, dating Matt, new home that looks like I'll be here a while at least, no news from docs.
Ta-ta for now.
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